ANTHONY L. WILKINS
Blog: July 2014
“What Kind Of Golfer Are You?”
The game of golf has and always will be filled with its share of characters on the professional level but what about within your own foursome or amongst your friends in general? We all know the guy or gal that fits into one or more golfing stereotypes. Here are a few of the more common characters seen on the course and who knows, one of them may even be you.
Equipment Geek
This golfer probably sleeps with the latest copy of the ‘Hot List’ just to make sure that they do not miss out on the newest and most technologically advanced equipment to hit the market. They are convinced that purchasing something new for the bag will result in immediately improved scores the next round. We all know that this can’t be true as they said the same things last year when they needed a new__________–you know what I mean….it’s always some excuse..
Once they actually get onto the course it is a different story. As soon as they hit a great shot or make a great score on a hole they are quick to give their newly purchased toy all of the credit. At the same time, a mishit or poorly played round with their latest purchase can only be blamed on its need to be recalibrated or further worked on the next time they hit the range. After all, it could never be operator error especially when they haven’t had a real lesson in years.
Junior Rules Official
Knowing the basic rules of golf are hard enough and are mastered by very few but this golfer is never far from his trusty quick reference guide if he already know a rule by heart. Your weekend round used to be a time to relax and play 18 holes with your best buddies until it was interrupted by this junior PGA Tour official.
He not only knows the rules but recites them by their exact number right from the USGA rule book. There is no playing a friendly round of golf where for the sake of keeping the round moving you simply drop a ball and keep on playing. It is right back to the tee box for you even on the Saturday afternoon when the course is already incredibly slow. Golf has rules for reasons that are meant to be followed but this guy would probably try to disqualify you from your round for not having an umbrella in your bag of the right caliber.
Hustler
Golf courses all over the world have various tournaments throughout the year for their members and patrons. Having an established handicap is pretty much the only way to somewhat level the playing field but even that doesn’t always work. Every so often you will get the golfer that lives for showing up at the course in hopes of taking home a trophy that they have been ‘working’ for all year long. They play at the club on a regular basis but they only post scores to their handicap that will keep it inflated just enough that they get a very generous number of strokes when competing officially.
When it is time to compete in an actual tournament their true game comes out and they are playing like they are having an out of body experience. The entire field is in disbelief at what is happening but they are powerless to stop it as it is ‘official’. If only we could all get that much better when we are put under that much pressure to perform.
The Teaching Pro
This is one of the golfer that is seen on the course all too often. They are actually the best golfer in the group but far from someone who should be giving advice. But that doesn’t stop them from offering up advice on how they can fix your swing even if you never asked for the advice in the first place.
Unfortunately they feel that hitting a few drives down the middle of the fairway or making par on a few straight holes is proof enough that they know what they are doing. They break down your swing faults in seconds but don’t want to hear a peep when they spray a ball into the drink. It’s funny how their tips and swing tricks are always much easier to give than to receive.
Mr./Ms. Pretty
Styles of golf apparel have come a long way over the years and this golfer is a walking & talking billboard. If you’ve seen it on tour or in a magazine chances are that they have it or it is already on order. Their mantra…you have to look good in order to play well. They are the true definition of looking good coming out of the locker room. They look incredible on the range from head to toe and everything matches just like the mannequin in the store.
The problem is that so many times that they walk right out onto the course and leave their game in the locker room. They even hit the range and practice like a champion from driving down to putting and everything in between. But when they step onto that first tee it all goes out the window. They spend the entire round trying to work on their game with no luck but at the end of the day at least they looked great getting into and out of that golf cart!
Ball Talker
Now we all get our share of good bounces and lucky breaks in a round of golf but this golfer takes it upon himself to try to speak greatness into existence. From the second the ball leaves the club you will hear, “Bite! Get left! Get up! Be the right club!” or anything that will help the ball go where their mind wants it to but their body couldn’t make it go.
There is no shortage of ball control phrases out there but having to use one during every shot may be something that should be addressed with a little more practice. Even if one happens to ‘work’ we all know that the ball wasn’t obeying your commands in an effort to avoid being disciplined. We all know that is was the ever-present golf gods at work!
Long & Wrong
A commonly heard phrase from this golfer is, “I’ll hit a provisional just in case.” They can hit the ball a really long way but unfortunately they don’t have as much control over where the ball actually lands. Whenever they finally do get the distance and direction right they make sure to let everyone know about it. Their drives are always ‘3oo plus yards’ and their approach shots are always ‘all over the pin’.
They show up to the course with the intentions of shooting the best round of their life but they never put in the amount of practice time on the other parts of their game to actually make their dream a reality. They are constantly losing strokes due to poor short game or putting skills and are quick to let the group know how good they would be if they just practiced more. We get it, now go practice and get back to us but until you do you are only getting one mulligan per side.
The Dreamer
Have you ever hit your best drive of your life or an approach shot that landed within inches of the cup for a tap in birdie? Well this golfer seems to do it all of the time or at least they would have you think that by the way that reminisce before EVERY shot. You cannot play a single hole without hearing of some magnificent shot, bounce or roll that they pulled off that lead to an incredible score.
They seem to always have a story at the ready for any moment that arises that makes their golf game look great but they never get to the part of how their entire round ended that day. They are convinced that the next greatest shot ever to be struck is one swing away but I guess that is why we all come out to play.
Like myself, you probably found yourself within one or even a few of these personas but that doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or golfer. Just know that we are some of the characters which give the game of golf some much needed flare. Or at least we think we do!
Well, until next time,
Anthony
Anthony L. Wilkins is a national Academy of Sports Medicine & Titleist Performance Institute Certified Personal Trainer an avid golfer from New Jersey who currently resides in the metro Atlanta area with his wife and son.
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