March 19, 2021 | BY KATHRYN MAGETT McMANUS
Golf courses often feel like white men’s domain. And as Black women, we can be made to feel unwelcome, as though we don’t belong there. Black women can easily be turned off from learning to play golf because there are so few other Black women out there on a regular basis. We rarely see ourselves represented on the driving ranges and fairways.
But ladies, stand your ground and relax in the knowledge that we do belong there! Don’t let circumstances or anyone intimidate you.
So many times I’ve been in situations where I was the only Black woman, sometimes the only Black person in the room, and especially the only Black woman on the golf course. I’ve grown accustomed to being the only Black woman as a member of my golf clinic where I take classes three days a week.
In such situations, it can be impossible for me to feel like I fit in, unless I allow myself to just “get out of my skin.” I don’t think of myself as the only “other”, just as Kathryn, unapologetically me… here I am, get to know me if you care to. This allows me to relax and become oblivious to racial differences.
And I don’t try to fit in! I’m polite but comfortable being myself. I’m aware that my presence becomes a representation (or at least that’s how they see me) whether I want them to or not!
Being the only one can be an opportunity to excel; they need me. As the only Black woman in the fairway, everyone I meet remembers my name. I contribute a unique point of view and express thoughts they’ve never had. So, I embrace the situation and make the most of it. I use it to my advantage.
I’m a member of a local women’s golf group in Raleigh, North Carolina that is predominantly Black, the Triangle Women in Golf (TWIG), and serve on the TWIG Kidz Committee. TWIG Kidz is run by Valerie Willis, who grew up in a minority situation and today is the only Black woman in her corporate surroundings, so she understands how Black girls can be made to feel “othered.”
TWIG Kidz sponsors young girls aged 6-17 to introduce them to the game of golf with the aim of inspiring a lifelong passion for the game. This nonprofit organization provides weekly golf lessons from a PGA Certified instructor at North Carolina State University’s Lonnie Poole Golf Course, golf equipment, opportunities to compete, and assistance in attending golf camps and clinics.
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One of the things I love about TWIG Kidz is that we introduce girls to the game of golf early in life, so they won’t be fearful and apprehensive later on, on the fairway. It also creates a pipeline to increasing the number and occurrence of Black women in golf as adults.
Girls receive many benefits from playing golf, including but not limited to learning responsibility, building character, gaining confidence, developing a strong work ethic, discipline and perseverance, cultivating rewarding friendships in a safe and supportive environment, and becoming engaged in a sport that can provide social and professional networking possibilities well after childhood, and that can truly be played for a lifetime. Also, and importantly, there are opportunities for girls who play golf to earn college scholarships which that can make all the difference to their education, their income, and their future. This applies not only to the golf course but to all aspects of life.
I once made the mistake of watering myself down to make white people comfortable with me. I wore a straight-haired wig to interviews and for the first few months on a new job. I wanted to let my coworkers get to know me and become comfortable with who I am as a person, not as the militant, radical that they associate Black women who wear locks to be. Once established as a solid team asset, I took off the wig and revealed my braids or now, locks.
Our Reallity
Conversations about racial injustice are becoming front and center in the media. I give kudos to recent episodes of “The Good Doctor” and “Zoey’s Extraordinary Play List.“ Both dealt head-on with racial injustice exposing how WE have to make THEM comfortable with US.
We have known it all along but they have never before been made aware of our reality. The Good Doctor ends with a young Black female doctor admitting that she spent her time in med school trying to make white people comfortable. She asks of another young doctor of color “But we had to do it right, to be here?”
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“So when I suggest you “get out of your skin”, I’m not suggesting you forget who you are or the skin you’re in, but that you embody the totality of who you are; allow yourself to feel all the pride and confidence your skin anoints upon you -never make yourself small or dim your shine! Don’t let self-consciousness, paranoia, and your perception of how others may see you and who they may perceive you to be overcome your sense of self.
Walk tall and proud and hit that ball with confidence!
Recently I was a guest at a County Golf Club in Cary, North Carolina. I played eighteen holes and didn’t see another Black face other than the wait staff. (Nor did I see any wait staff that were not Black – but that’s a story for another time.) The staff seemed overjoyed to see me! I was greeted a bit too much. I couldn’t help but be aware of how much I stood out but was not intimidated. I received their hospitality and recognized that I represented their “diversity” of the month (pardon my dark humor).
They couldn’t have been nicer… And did I make the most of it? You bet I did!
“I am the solution, not the exception” — Jennifer Hudson.
Kathryn Magett McManus is a retired Army Civilian living in Raleigh, NC. She spends her spare time serving as a mentor for the little tykes of TWIG Kidz. Kathryn is passionate about increasing the number of Black women on the golf course.
